Audio: Andy the Anxiety Baby

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Transcript of video

[heart beat for 12 seconds, then continues throughout speech]
Andy [high pitched voice]: Oh no! she’s covering my face with my hoodie. Is it because I’m ugly? Oh no, she must be ashamed of me. I must be so ugly.
[police siren sounds]
Andy: The police! Oh they’re gonna arrest me, because I have my hood up I look like a mugger! A baby mugger! That nicks baby toys.

[bird tweets and traffic noise]

[heart beat for 9 seconds, then continues throughout speech]
Andy [high pitched voice]: Oh no! Dog poo? I hope my Mum doesn’t push the pram through it. It’ll get on the carpet and I’ll have to crawl through it. I’ve heard it gives you all sorts of diseases. I’ll go mad!

[bird tweets and traffic noise]

[heart beat for 9 seconds, then continues throughout speech]
[fly buzzing]
Andy [high pitched voice]: Oh no. It’s a giant fly, coming near me face. I hope it doesn’t touch me face. Oh no! It’s getting closer! I hope it’s not a hornet because it might sting me and I might die of an allergic reaction.
[noise of gull flying overhead]
Bird poo! It’s landed on me Mum’s face. She might catch bird flu and die. Oh no! She’s using baby wipes to wipe her face and she’s touched the rest of the wipes. Oh no, she’s gonna wipe my bum with those. Oh no she’s kissed me! Oh, well if I die I won’t have nothing to worry about anymore.

[bird tweets and traffic noise]

About this audio

From Dark Inc, 2008. Written by Lucy Meah.

This is a piece from the show Dark Inc and was accompanied by performance of the characters Andy the Anxiety Baby, and Andy’s Mum.